Saving those Benjamins (err Gift Cards)

Boo has the problem that her birthday and Christmas are about 1 month apart.  This means she has about 11 months with no "big gifts" coming her way.  This was particularly problematic when she was younger because big gifts that were developmentally appropriate (and fun)  at 3 years wasn't at 4 years.   So, we have been asking folks for the past few years to give her giftcards (with a smaller gift) instead of a big gift.  This allows her to buy things all year long.

She has been amazing about saving these gift cards.  She has only been using a little money from each over the months so that they could last.

This last Christmas, Boo asked for a $400 drawing computer tablet.  We could not justify getting that for her.  So, we told her ahead of time that she wasn't getting it.  She said that she'd been saving her giftcards, and she might have enough even if the tablet didn't come as a gift.  It didn't come, but about $200 in additional gift cards did.   This was far short of what she needed.  I just knew that she had not saved enough to bridge the gap.

But, when she put all of her giftcards (old and new) together, she had exactly the right amount (minus $1 - provided from her piggy bank). 

I was SHOCKED!  My little one is a saver at such a young age.  I am so proud of the will that it took to save that money.  And, I know she values this writing tablet more that if she had just been given it. Go BOO!

Dealing With Things the Right Way

Yesterday, Svea was teased by a little girl at lunch for eating an ice-cream on a stick. The teasing was "sexual in nature" according to the phone call from the school counselor. The school counselor only got involved because she heard Svea say to the other child, "That may be your sense of humor, but it is not mine. Please, do not talk like that around me again." The counselor stopped and pulled both girls into her office. The other girl was embarrassed, and apologized to Svea. Svea, accepted the apology and just added, "let's talk about something else next time." I heard this story from the counselor because all Svea said about it was, "the counselor upset my friend at lunch by making her talk about a mistake she had made."

At the end of the discussion with the counselor, she said to me, "Svea talked to that other child like a 40-years-old would, not a 12-year-old." I was really proud of her for dealing with this exactly the right way.

But, later ... before bed, our 12-year-old came back. She was so upset because she had just finished The Diary of Anne Frank. She could not understand how the world could be so cruel. She was upset about the book and was afraid for her Jewish friends because she had seen stories about antisemitism on the news. She was upset because she was worried that all of this would happen again. Her daddy told her to remember the words of Anne, "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." And, Svea stopped crying while we watched the YouTube clip of the guy punch the Neo-Nazi in the face. Again, I was really proud of her for dealing with exactly the right way.

Fear and Loathing (and Denial) in Tallahassee

Yesterday, 50 people were gunned down by a hate-filled man in our newly adopted state. He killed them simply because of their sexual orientation. Each of the three of us in our house have been handling it differently. Josh has been filled with loathing for the shooter, for all who think like him, and for the world in general. I have been in complete denial. I keep thinking that the world is getting better and more open, but events like this make me realize that I live in a bubble. Things aren't getting better. Instead, because of news and social media, I only read the parts that appeal to me. So, I just it is.

All day today, Josh and I thought that Svea was unaware of the shooting. When, Josh and I decided to take her to the vigil tonight, we sat down with her to explain what happened. She was already aware of the facts, but she hadn't processed them. Usually, that means that she talks it through with us.

But, on the way over there while Josh and I talked to each other, Svea was silent. We walked a long way to get to the church, but still she said little. We stood in the hot room with hundreds of others, and she did not move. She did not speak; she did not jump; she did not run around. Svea stood with respect and silence.

On the way back to the car, she told us why. She was afraid. She was afraid that if we went to the vigil then some "other bad man" would come and shoot us. She had looked up the shooting online before we left for the vigil. Svea knew that the shooter was alone. But, she was still afraid.

Josh stopped us walking. He turned to her and said, "this is what they want; they want you to be afraid. We cannot let this happen. So, we go. And, we show our support." After that, we returned to the car and went home. As a family. Together. Lucky.

Boo Chooses the Next President

These past few months have been the first time that Svea has paid attention to politics or the news. Specifically, she has been following the upcoming election. In the fall, she was obsessed by Ben Carson. She thought that he was silly and kept doing crazy things. Once Carson was no longer in the news, Boo became fascinated by Trump. Every time Trump is on the news or discussed by a comedian, she has to stop and watch. Boo cannot believe that Trump says the things that he says (especially about women). Today, she said that "everyone in my (5th grade) class hates Trump." It made me wonder if the news media have missed out on a polling opportunity (which candidate is leading for 5th graders?).

Also today, she shocked us by discussing "Kay-si-ch" (with a "ch" sound). This means that she must have read the name Kasich (instead of hearing it on T.V.). This means that she has been reading about the presidential election at age 11. She seems to have no opinion thus far on Kasich (as would be true for many).

So, when Svea thinks back on her "first" presidential election that she remembers, it will be this one. What an interesting one that it has been!

Big Girl Christmas *Spoilers*

*SPOILERS*

Two months before Christmas, I heard Boo say to a friend, "you can get this Wii for Christmas. It is free because Santa brought it."

But, a lot changed between then and Christmas day. On Dec 23, she asked her daddy, "Is Santa real? My friends say he isn't real." That started a long discussion between the two of them. I chimed in with, "this house believes in all of the things that Santa believes in (kindness, generosity, and the spirit of Christmas. We all talked well into the night. There were some tears (not saying whose tears).

Christmas day came and went, and our little girl enjoyed her visit from Saint Nicholas. She enjoyed the presents that *only he* can bring.

Then, December 27 comes around. And, our little girl lost a baby tooth. It was at this time, that she asked questions about the other magical fairies and guests who come to our home. It was yet another sign of her growing older.

And, finally, today she surpassed herself. Boo rode her bike (yes, it finally happened, she really can ride) to her friend's house (4 blocks away) by herself. Her daddy watched as she crossed the busy street, but otherwise she was by herself. Her life is so much more sheltered than my was. As a child, I would ride my bike for hours alone, but times were so different then.

It feels that she has grown so much just this year. I'm not quite ready for the terrible teens. I hope to keep a little magic around for a little longer.

For Just a Little Longer

Given our collective heights as parents (6'6" and 5'9"), we always knew she was going to be tall. We estimated her final height by doubling her height at age two. Her height at two was 3'2", meaning her final height is to be 6'4". This height may seem an overestimate, but her daddy's sister is 6'2, and her mother has a cousin who has a daughter who is 6'6". Given this, we have watched as Boo topped 5 feet at age 9 (she is now 5'1" at age 10). We have seen her shoe size hit an adult woman's size 7.5 at 8 years old (and now size 9.5 at 10 years old). We have watched as she outgrew children's clothes at most department stores. Through all of this, we have emphasized the positives of being tall. She knows that her parents are proud of her, that being tall makes her good at sports, and that being different is a positive thing. She knows that people come in all shapes and size and that being tall is the way that she is supposed to be. And, until the other day, she was fine and even proud of her height. It began as many female problems start, with the purchase of a swimsuit. She wanted a suit with her favorite cartoon characters on it. But, that is not possible because they don't have it in adult sizes. And, the ones in kids sizes did not fit her. The adult sizes all had low cut tops or built in bra cups. Then, when we showed her the racing suits that were less sexualized, she didn't like them because they were not in kid-friendly designs. All of this made her very frustrated and angry. Finally, she became very sad. And, she said the one thing that was guaranteed to hit her parents in all of the soft spaces. She said, "I just want to be able be little for just a little longer. I don't want to grow up, yet." You know, we aren't ready for you to grow up yet, either. But, it is going to happen whether we are ready or not.

Gardens and Poetry

For Easter, we took Svea's grandmother to McClay Gardens. These are beautiful ornamental gardens that have been lovingly maintained. There are many places to stop and look at the plants and the lake. The original home is also open to tour. The website for the gardens is https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Maclay-Gardens if you want to see some photos to go with her thoughts.

Given the ability to stop and think, Svea took advantage of it. She commented on each different thing that she saw. Finally, she was inspired to write a line of a poem at each significant stop. Here is the poem that was generated from her musings in the garden. There was no help given by any adult available.

The moss waves in the wind like spiders' legs.
A giant tree bends and inches across the earth like a caterpillar.
The Indian Paintbrushes dot the earth like paint on a canvas.
And old house brings back knowledge of a life past.
The water ripples like the feathers of an eagle's wing.
A secret little garden lies in the heart of it all.
Carved in the bark, the trees show their faces.
Wind twirls and makes the leaves scatter.